Leaving the Unmarried Folks Behind

It happens a lot. Your friends get married and you're deleted from their social circle.

Sometimes it's intentional and sometimes it's not.

But it still happens.

Now, let me say I do have some good friends that haven't left me in the dust, but those kind of friends are rare.

This is just my opinion, but I think those who are married should be pouring into those who aren't. No matter how long they've been married.

They have insights and wisdom that those who are unmarried could learn from.

It reminds me of a verse in Joshua. You see, God was leading all the tribes to the Promised Land. Well...right before they crossed over, two tribes said they had found the land they wanted. So they asked Moses to give it to them.

This was Moses' response, "Stay with them (the rest of the tribes) until the Lord gives them rest, as He has given you rest, and until they, too, possess the land the Lord your God is giving them. "

In other words, he told them to help their friends and neighbors fight for their land before they settled down all comfy and cozy in their own.

I would argue that those who are married should do the same. It doesn't have to be anything huge. It could be praying for your unmarried friends, sending them an encouraging note,  or giving them relationship advice.

I hope to do that for my unmarried friends when I get married.

...if I have any unmarried friends left by the time I walk down the aisle.

Thoughts?

Random Question for Friday

Swim. Bike. Run

If you had to, which one would you choose?

I can swim to save myself but my form looks like a 3rd grader. Swimming is out.
I could bike but I don't have the money for a nice bike. Biking is in works for the future.

Therefore, my answer for now is run. It's fun, relaxing, and great excercise.

Your turn.

Respect and Honor

I have a friend who just got married.

Of course, I was in the wedding.

Yeah I know, always a bridesmaid...

Anyways. One thing I noticed about her and her now husband is they speak well of each other.

In all of my conversations with her, she never tore him down. In dating or now in marriage.

Even when something bothers her, she speaks well of him to others.

And people say the same thing about the way he treats her.

It's not blindness, because they know each other's faults.

It's respect and honor of their spouse.

That's the kind of spouse I want to be.  And that's the kind of spouse I want to have.

So thanks to two friends for being a great example of what respect and honor looks like.

Lost Art

I love old movies.

It was time where the story was more important than how many sex jokes you could place in a movie.

The actors and actresses looked good and had talent.

Everything about old movies has become a lost art.

I wish they made more like them.

What do you think as become a lost art?

My Past Body Image Issues

I look so fat.
I've got to skip a meal today because I didn't get to work out.
If I have that piece of cake it's over.

Sadly, many years ago this is what my thought life was. I was obsessed with my weight. I would skip meals, excercise like crazy, all to stay thin.

And here's the crazy part...I was thin!

But I was filled with fear. Fear of gaining weight, fear of being unloved...rejected.

It took years to have a healthy relationship with food and excercise.

Now...praise God...I am free.

I eat healthy, excercise regularly...but I am not crazy about it.

Here are signs you may have an unhealthy body image:
Guilt when you miss a workout.
The feeling of being "fat" when you miss a workout.
Having no sweets. Ever. End of story.
Working out more than 3 hours a day (unless training for something)
Skipping meals
Counting calories like a mad woman

All of these things led me to have a very unhealthy body image.
We live in a society that uses food as a drug. We either eat too much and live unhealthy lives. Or we starve ourselves and live unhealthy lives.


Both are deadly and destructive.


If you are struggling in this area, talk to someone. Get help. God wants to set you free. All you have to do is open the door and let Him in.

It Ain't Cause We're Good

God blesses us because we follow Him and because of our faithfulness to Him.

Sounds about right...or does it?

I know there are plenty of verses that say God blesses those who follow Him.

And while that's true,  I think sometimes we can take those verses a bit too far.

And end up getting things backwards.

We believe it's because of our faithfulness that God blesses us. But in reality, it's because of His.

This all hit me when I read chapters 8-10 in Deuteronomy. God basically tells the people of Israel it ain't cause you're good that I'm giving you the land I've promised you, it's because of my faithfulness to the promises I have for your life.

So the next time I'm blessed with something I'm  going to remember one thing...

It ain't because I'm good, it's because God is faithful.

Random Question for Friday

Everyone has a dangerous food item that if they could have it all day every day they would gain 200 pounds in 6 months.

Mine is salt and vinegar chips.

And since I've yet to find a healthy version...I'm stuck with the ones that will make you blow up like a blimp.

I'm not kidding when I say I could eat bag, after bag, after bag...and then lick out the inside of each bag.

That's why they are never in my house.

What's your dangerous food item?

Finding LOL Friends

Growing up and even well into adulthood I always kept friends at arms length. They would give, I would take, and give nothing in return.

I know now it stemmed from insecurity. I thought if people knew me, they would reject me.

Thankfully, I no longer feel this way. God freed me of my insecurity a couple of years ago. And around that time,  I walked into a women's group suggested by my sister. I was down (about a boy, of course) and I'm sure I looked like a pathetic mess. But these girls didn't seem to mind.

They took me in and accepted me. Even though they had been friends longer.

Now...around three years later they are the greatest friends ever. We've had some additions to our group, heartache, lots of laughter, and three weddings (and hoping to have many more).

They are the friends I never knew I could have.

The ones that challenge you to be more like Jesus, make you laugh out loud, and encourage you when you are down.

So here's to good friends who help me be more like Jesus and make me laugh out loud more than any group of girls I've ever known.

Do you have friends like this?

Advice

My last posts were kind of heavy so I thought I would keep this one light. Women always go to each other for advice.

Especially relationship advice. 

I think sometimes we tend to go to each other before we go to God. But that's for another post.

When it comes to  advice, I've got to be honest...I usually open my mouth and give my advice too quickly. I speak before I think, especially when I really care about the person.

And sometimes it makes me look like a jerk.

So I decided to try something new. Recently, when a friend was asking for advice, I was more quiet. I still gave my advice. But it wasn't my stupid human wisdom...I simply said "I don't know. Ask God and He'll show you what to do."

Imagine that. I pointed someone to God instead of my own silly ideas.

I think I'm going to start doing that from now on. Especially when I don't really know what they should do (which is most of the time).

What about you? Are you quick to give advice?

Wanted: More Men (and women) Like Joshua and Caleb Part 2

Yesterday I talked about Joshua and Caleb. And that it amazed me to find that they were the only two men (20 years and older) that got to leave Egypt and actually enjoy the Promise Land.

What made them different than everyone else?

This is my humble observation. One, they were leaders not followers. Everyone else was panicking, whining, and rebelling against God. But not these guys. Check out what God said about them.

"The only exceptions are Caleb son of Jephunneh and Joshua son of Nun, for they have wholeheartedly followed the Lord." Numbers 32:12

Two, they had perseverance. It must have been hard not to complain...not to be discouraged and afraid, to totally trust God. Even the great leader Moses couldn't see it all the way through. In a moment of weakness, Moses didn't trust God. And he got to see the Promised Land but not enter it.

This got me thinking.

Where are men like Joshua and Caleb these days? Men who aren't afraid to stand up and live their lives for God. Men who aren't afraid to be different from the world. Not just kind of different...but radically different. Women too. Why can't we have the strength these guys had?

Now I'm not talking about being weird different. But a secure, confident different.

I don't know about you, but I don't want to be like the Israelites...who whined and completely turned from God out of their distrust of Him.

But that doesn't scare me really.

What scares me is that I'll be like Moses. I'll be strong and trust God. But in a crazy moment of weakness I'll distrust him...and get close to living the dreams and plans God has for me...maybe even get a glimpse of them. But I won't get to enjoy them.

No. I want to be like Joshua and Caleb. I want to see it all the way through. I want God to say about me what he said about them...that I "wholeheartedly followed the Lord." And frankly, I want a man who will do the same.

Wanted: More Men (and women) Like Joshua and Caleb Part 1

Moses leading the Israelites is a story many are familiar with. We learn about Moses and his brother Aaron leading a large group of rather whiny Israelites through the desert.

But we forget about two heroes that stood out among the rest. Joshua and Caleb.

Here's what went down. God told Moses to send 12 "spies" to scope out the new land. All 12 spies saw the same thing...large fruits and vegetables, large foreign armies, and giants. Yes...giants. All of them totally freaked out and got all the Israelites to freak out too.

Except for two...Joshua and Caleb.

I love what these men said. "Don't rebel against the Lord, and don't be afraid of the people of the land. They are only helpless prey to us! They have no protection, but the Lord is with us! Don't be afraid of them!"

Sadly...no one listened.

Everyone rebelled except for Moses, Aaron, Joshua, and Caleb. And God told them that everyone 20 years and older would wander the desert and never enter the Promised Land. Sad.

But that's not what really struck me. This is what got my attention.

Out of all the Israelites (20 years and older)...only Joshua and Caleb got to leave Egypt and enter the Promise Land. They got to experience the whole adventure...God's whole purpose for them.

Even Moses and Aaron sinned and were unable  to enjoy the Promise Land. Moses got close...but because he sinned, he only got to see the Promise Land...not enjoy it.

In next couple of posts, I'm going to talk about these guys Caleb and Joshua. And how we need to be and find more men and women like them.

Random Question for Friday

I love fashion...especially at an affordable price.

My favorite stores with affordable fashion are Kohl's and a website called ModCloth.com

I also shop the sales at BCBG.

You can get cute clothes at a good prices.

My weakness in stores is Anthropologie, when I have some extra money and can find prices that are reasonable...I indulge and buy a top there.

What are some stores you've found with cute clothes at affordable prices? What's your indulgence store?

Don't Give Up!

There is something that God has been speaking to me lately. He's almost screaming it at me. 

Don't give up. On your dreams and the vision I've given you.  

A certain verse keeps coming up every time.

Nehemiah 4:14 "...Don't be afraid of them. Remember the Lord, who is great and awesome, and fight for your brothers, your sons and daughters, your wives and your homes."

This verse is Nehemiah talking to the Israelites. You see, Nehemiah had a problem. His people had been in capitivity in Babylon for years and the protective wall surrounding the city of Jerusalem was in ruins.

And even though they had the opportunity, the Israelites had not rebuilt the wall.

Nehemiah believed that God wanted him to do it. So, he gathered all the people together and they started to rebuild the wall. But they faced fierce opposition and  they got discouraged. So Nehemiah encouraged them with the verse above.

Nehemiah had a vision from God. He could have given up. But he didn't.

And neither should you or I.

If God has given you a vision or assignment, don't give up. No matter how long the wait or how fierce the opposition. Remember who God is and rely on Him, He will bring it about.

Tacky Comments

When you are in the south, the older you get and are unmarried, the more tacky comments you get by well-meaning people.

The most frequent one is this...you're a pretty girl, a smart girl, you love God,  I cannot understand why you're not married! Then they begin to question me about my love life.

My friends laugh because we all know that's code word for what the *&!# is wrong with you?

It's as if they want to uncover the mystery of your marital status, I always tell them when you figure it out let me know.

So...what's the tackiest comment someone's said to you regarding your marital status?

Modesty Suggestions 4 the Fellas

I'm all for modesty. There is nothing worse than going out or even going to church and being greeted with double D's right in your face. And ladies...when you do this you look cheap not sexy. Just sayin'.

I believe a woman can look hot without showing off her body. It's called fashion. Note I said fashion, not trends that the teenagers are wearing. See TLC's What Not To Wear for tips.

However, I think we are hard on women and forget that men can cause women to stumble too.

So here are my humble suggestions for the fellas.

1. If you are in good shape, please keep your shirt on. We know you work out...you don't need to advertise. 

2. If your are in good shape, don't were tight shirts that could fit a toddler. It's just like going out with your shirt off. Plus, it just makes you look like you're trying too hard.

That's it for me.

Some would add the tight jeans to that list. But that doesn't really cause me to stumble as much as it makes me jealous that you can fit into those jeans and I can't.

What have I left out? Are there any other things you would add to the list?

Grocery Story Lines and Patience

Patience used to be something I really struggled with. I couldn't even wait in line at the grocery store without getting grumpy.

And since I couldn't wait in the small things, it was near impossible for me to wait for the big prayers I was asking God for. I asked God to help me in this and His answer surprised me a little.

Don't worry about having patience for the big things right now, focus on the small things first.

And so I did. Instead of being in a rush and impatient wherever I went, I started to take things slow. At first,I failed more than I succeeded. But after a while, waiting in lines at the grocery store or waiting for other little things didn't bother me anymore. In fact, it allowed me to slow down and just enjoy the moment even if it wasn't what I wanted it to be.

And something strange happened, that attitude began to translate into the big prayers I was asking God for.

I began to enjoy the moments I had rather than impatiently wishing them away so I could move forward.

I think God has us start with the little things because it's what we can tackle (with His help) at the moment. And then He takes what we learned there, and applies it to the big things in life.

I still have my moments of impatience (in the big and small things), but impatience doesn't own me anymore. And it all started when I learned to have patience while waiting in the line for groceries.

Mother's Day

I rarely post on Sundays but I have to say Happy Mother's Day to my mom and sis-in-law! You are the best moms I know!

My heart also goes out to those of us who want to be mothers but aren't.

Whether you're unmarried and want a family or a couple who longs for a baby, you are being prayed for today.

Random Question for Friday

I love any kind of ethnic food. It can be Thai, Mexican, Japanese, Latin Fusion, Italian,Greek...you name it. My friends and I search the local (not chain) restaurants that have the best food on the planet. Most of them are ethnic in some way or have unique flavors.

But I don't really care for southern comfort foods.

Which is weird because I live in the Upper South. Oh well.

What's your favorite kind of food?

Risk

Risk sometimes involves hurt. And it’s better to risk than to do nothing at all.

We take risks every time we venture out into a place where people are and where we might feel uncomfortable.

As I thought about that, I remember how I used to be. You see, I used to be the one who didn’t take risks, didn’t venture out, and stayed within my routine.

But then God showed me something. Yes, staying in your home, your routine, your comfort zone, feels safe at the time. In fact, you feel pretty good. And you seemingly avoid all the negative emotions that can come along with taking risks.


But it’s a lie. A set-up. A deception from Satan or from yourself that actually robs you of what you want most.

The truth is, risk involves getting hurt sometimes.

Feeling awkward. Feeling like you might not measure up to everyone else.

But it also leads to meaningful friendships, getting to know new people, and opening your heart and life to relationships.

For me,  I know that risk may hurt at times, but I believe the rewards it can bring is worth it.

So the next time you feel like you’ve taken a risk and it has hurt you, remember that risk doesn’t always involve pain. If you keep at it, it will bring you joy and rewards from God you never dreamed of.

What is it you’re risking right now?

Living Everday Like I Just Got My Hair Done

I have fine but very thick, long hair. So I always know it's time to visit my hairdresser when my hair starts look less like long in style tresses and more like I'm part of some community where the women wear long skirts and never cut their hair.

This weeked it was time.

Not only to get my hair cut but I got my hair blonde again.

I know guys would never understand this, but there's something about getting your hair done that makes a woman hold her head up a little higher. Stand a little taller. Is that a bad thing? No.

But I wish I felt that way about myself all the time. But truth is, I don't.

I get trapped in comparing myself to others and forget who God made me to be.

I guess I need to remember that every day is an opportunity for me to hold my head high, feel secure in myself, and treat everyday like I just got my hair done.

Rockin' the High Heels Again

I love heels. It can be a boot, a sandal, a peep toe, as long as it has a high heel...I'm in.

But I had to stop wearing them for a while.

I was training for a half-marathon and I couldn't wear them while training. I tend to get sciatica and the best way to help prevent that is to stop wearing high heels while training.

The good news is for the first time I had no sciatic nerve problems while training or in my race.

The bad news is I couldn't wear my high heels.

But now my race is over...the high heels are back.

And that makes me happy.

This girls is rockin' the high heels again...until the next half-marathon.

Making Things Complicated

I was at the tag agency this last weekend. And if you've ever been to one of these you'll probably hear conversations that go something like this...

Man: But I thought I needed to go here...

Woman behind desk: You do. But first you need a 936.

Man: A what?

Woman behind desk: A 936. A form you need to get from the county assessors office.

Man: I can't get that here?

Woman behind the desk: No. Go to the county assessor's office, get the form, and then come and pay your taxes. Have a nice day!

This is just one of the many kinds of conversations I heard.

I thought...

When did our government get so complicated?

There's a form for this, a tax for that, you need this, have to go to another place for that. It's exhausting. And it some ways utterly ridiculous. We've made things that used to be simple, complicated.

I think we do the same thing sometimes in the church.

We think we need to follow this rule or have certain things that will make us right with God. We complicate the simplicity of the Gospel with our man made rules and regulations. Now I'm not saying throw out Biblical standards clearly outlined in the Bible, but we don't need to add our own "rules" that complicate the message of Jesus.

What do you think? What ways do you think the church has complicated the Gospel message?