Have you ever been with someone and they take a swipe at you or someone else with a smile on their face?
I call it the jab and smile technique.
And I should know about it, because I used to do it. All.the.time.
I would use sarcasm or a cute comment to veil a criticism or issue I had with someone. Until someone pointed out to me that even though I thought I was cleverly disguising my frustration, the person on the other end got my full meaning. And it was more of an insult that I said it with a smile.
So I decided to try and change.
It was tough.
Mainly because I didn't know how to express my feelings in a constructive way. I would do real well for a while and then fall back into my "jab and smile" tactics. But after much practice, I finally discovered how to express my feelings rather than hide behind a quick but stabbing comment. Not that I don't fall on my face every now and then, but for the most part the jab and smile technique is history.
Have you ever struggled with this? Have you ever been on the receiving end of this?
Thoughts?
I recently talked to a friend about this very same thing. She has a very critical spirit and she said to me, "But I say it in a nice way". I informed her that I can say, "That shirt is ugly and your mom dresses you funny." with a smile on my face but that doesn't mean I should.
ReplyDeleteA few weeks ago I attended a speaking engagement at the church I grew up in. One of the men that was speaking is a dear friend who has checked himself into rehab for the next year. I found out that one of the punishments for wrongly spoken words is a "word fast". At first I thought that is just dumb, because well I like to talk a LOT. Then I realized what the fast was all about. You are forced to listen to conversations and not respond. The goal is to think about what you would have said and then ask yourself, "Is that thought in submission to the will of God?" I began to think how powerful a fast that could be. "Be transformed by the renewing of your mind." "Out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks." A week of silence may not result in world peace but it may change your world forever!
Love the idea of a word fast.
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