I was having a conversation with friends the other day and two of them were telling me about a movie they had just seen. Then one of them said, “Oh I just wish I could have a strong man like him. The movie made me want to have someone like that”. Or something along those lines. Now what she said wasn’t wrong. But it got me thinking. I think women tend to watch romantic movies and long for a man just like the one in the movie they’ve just seen. But there’s one problem.
Those men aren’t real.
They’re a screenwriter’s ideal of what a man should be or an idea of a man they know will make a good movie. As a writer, I’m naturally inclined to be imaginative. So, a while back, I used to long to be in the movies or books I would read. And actually be a little sad that I wasn’t a part of them or there wasn’t people like that who really existed. I know…there’s meds for that. Then God smacked be upside the head. That is not reality. It never was and never will be. And it’s dangerous to compare fictional characters to the real, fallible humans that actually exist. So ladies, let’s stop comparing the men around us to the men we see in movies and read about in books. It dangerous because you’ll never be satisfied with anyone because you’ll always be holding up everyone you meet to an ideal that doesn’t exist.
Now to the guys. Thought you’d get off the hook huh?
Now, I’m not a guy so this is going to be based on observation so if I’m off base here guys, feel free to correct me. The women you see in movies and magazines do not exist. They have had hours of make-up and hair dressers to make them look like that. And the women in the photos? Can you say digitally altered? Now, let me tell you the real scoop about real women. We get zits. The shock! And get ready boys…we look different without our make-up on. Not bad different…just different. The horror!
What I’m really trying to say to both men and women is this…the ideal you see in the movies, or books, or magazines is not real. It’s not real in character or looks. So stop comparing it to the real thing. If you don’t, you may just miss out on God’s best for you because your so busy comparing them to an illusion that never existed in the first place.
Have you ever been trapped by illusions you’ve seen or read about?
Absolutely! Whether through books or movies I've often thought to myself, "Oh, I wish I had a man who did this....or said that...or responded this way or that! And sometimes I'd daydream and fantasize so much about it I'd begin dreaming about it throughout the night. Then the HOLY SPIRIT, sweetly and tenderly reminded me it was time to "take captive every thought and make it obedient to CHRIST." (2 Cor. 10:5) I knew it was time to render powerless those "vain imaginations" that were not God honoring. As you wait on the LORD to reveal His great plan for you I would encourage all young women (and men too) to remember that the LORD will bring to you the spouse who will compliment you; one who will bring out your best (and sometimes you worst) to help you continue to grow and mature and be more like CHRIST in every way. And so I leave you with His promise found in Hebrews 6:15, "And so after waiting patiently, Abraham (you can safely put your name right here!) received what was promised!"
ReplyDeleteGood words. Thanks!
ReplyDeleteI think relationships end before they start based solely on this issue! Unrealistic expectations. Men & women never even start the race because they are too busy comparing the other to someone who doesn't exsist. Too many book & movies, and at the same time to much peer to peer influence. Each person that I meet is uniquely different and shouldn't have to compete with others, no two people are the same THANK GOD! Sadly the change must come one person at a time. The idea of a dating utopia doesn't exsist. The "world" isn't going to change their standards and I hate to say it but neither is the church as a whole, when it comes to appearances. Yet, WE can make a difference by encouraging those around us to look deeper. When one of our friends likes someone that is "different" and not exactly star quality stand by their decision. The change starts with us! "Let the words that leave your mouth be uplifting and edifying"
ReplyDeleteAnon- Preach it!!! Seriously, love what you have said here.
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